| My parents are on the verge of divorce because I don't like decorating for Christmas |
[23 Dec 2008|01:32am] |
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Seriously, what the fuck just happened?
I don't like decorating for Christmas. I'm not Christian, I don't like decorating in general (as any of you who saw my apartment in Columbus can testify), and my mom turns into a total Christmas Nazi and gets stressed out and completely freaks if one little detail is out of place. So it's just not my favorite thing. I made the mistake of making an off hand remark about how "I don't really like decorating for Christmas" (my exact words) to my sister Brook, who is back visiting from college. This girl is a major shit stirrer. So, she went and told my mom that I loathe Christmas and I'm pissed off that I have to decorate every year. My mom was heartbroken and since she was already upset by my grinch of a step-father (who NEVER helps and who bitches about having to bring in the heavier boxes of stuff from the shed), she got pissed off. So it turned into this whole big thing while we were decorating the tree, with my mom crying and getting all passive aggressive and upset and angry and threatening to never decorate again, and my sister boo-hooing because people weren't paying enough attention to her she was "upset" about causing a fight. I finally calmed my mom down enough to get her to listen to reason and I actually came up with some good ideas about how to tame her Christmas Nazi ways and make things more fun and less stressful for everyone (including her).
Then my step-dad comes in from plowing snow, completely oblivious to anyone else, and demands to know if she expects him to help with the tree or if he can watch the news. This sets my mom off again, but she manages to hold it together long enough to try to explain what just happened and talk about the ideas I had, but when she brings up how (until the last two years) he's just sat on his ass and watched her do all the work with the decorations, he gets all defensive and turns it around on her and before we know it, they're screaming at each other. He's calling her a bitch (!!!!!!) and saying how he never has any say in anything around the house and how she yells at him all the time and how everything he does is wrong. Basically accusing her of emasculating him. In fact, he basically flat out says she emasculated him by "forcing" him to drive my Subaru instead of his macho penis extension pick-up truck back when gas was $4+ a gallon, because my Subaru uses less than half the gas his truck does. Well, fuck! If I'd known he felt that way, I wouldn't have let him use it! I didn't want him to, anyway, but I was trying to help out the family! He got dirt and grime and trash all over my car, then he totalled it! Now I have no car! Then, he started talking about how apparently Brook told him that she didn't want to come home for Christmas because my mom "terrorizes" her. Which is such a fucking joke. My mom is nicer to her than probably anyone else (except for my grandmother who has severe dementia), way nicer than Brook deserves, because Brook is such a fucking drama queen any little thing sets her off. Anyway, the fight went on for hours and it basically ended with them asking each other if they even wanted to be together anymore.
I was so upset, I started downing pain killers, but thankfully came to my senses after 3. That's probably the only thing that could have made this night any worse. Anyway, after 3 I'm amazed I'm still awake, much less coherent enough to write this post. Actually, I might not be coherent and I just don't realize it yet. If so, sorry.
ANYWAY! Some more completely awesome things that have happened this month:
1. Whatever's wrong with the joints in my arms is also wrong with my legs as my knees have gone out too. Now I can barely walk or stand for more than 10-15 minutes. If I ever actually went anywhere, I'd probably need a wheelchair. Because of the ambient pain, this also means I'm back on my old stronger pain meds at twice the dose. I'm asleep or dozing for most of the day and I'm so dizzy when I walk, it's not uncommon for me to careen into walls or furniture. Or just fall down altogether.
2. My aunt who has diabetes, but refuses to control her diet or take meds is in the hospital again. She may have to have her legs amputated. Originally, she went in the hospital because her heart stopped for about 10 minutes in her sleep and she was in a coma for 3 days. She's awake now, but she's still on all sorts of machines to keep her alive. They don't know if she'll make it.
3. The sawmill where my step-dad worked closed down and he got laid off. My parents have an appointment with a bankruptcy lawyer in January.
4. Because of my step-dad losing his job, we have to move in another elderly person from the Home Healthcare Network into our spare room. It only pays about $3500 a month (before taxes), but it's better than nothing. That's fucking fabulous. As if one dementia patient who routinely takes off her pants and underwear and walks around her room pissing and shitting isn't enough. (Yes, that's how my grandmother spent her afternoon today while everyone except for me was in town. I had to get down on my busted hands and knees to scrub the carpet. OUCH.)
5. The snow in my yard is up to my waist and it isn't supposed to stop snowing until sometime after Christmas.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY GODSFORSAKEN NEW YEAR.
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| Fun With Dentistry |
[22 Oct 2008|04:22am] |
So at the end of my last post, I mentioned that I'm constantly wondering "What's next? What shitty thing is going to happen now?" Well, now I know: A MOTHERFUCKING ROOT CANAL. And since I don't have insurance, it's going to cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $700-$1000. Those fucking gutter whores can get away with charging anything they want, since they know we'll pay it just to make the pain stop.
In other news, I found out what my friend died from: a lupus-related heart attack. On the plus side, it was really quick. On the minus side, her 10-year-old daughter was standing right there when it happened, and she now feels like she should have done something to help her mother. Also, Tina suspects she's been molested by one of her mother's scumbag boyfriends. Fucking perfect.
I just want to go.
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| I'm alive. |
[06 Oct 2008|02:46am] |
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But one of my best friends isn't, which is why I've been MIA for about two weeks now. A few people that I know read this LJ have emailed me, but I haven't responded yet. I'm really sorry, y'all. It's on my To Do List, but I figured I'd update this and let everyone know at once what's been going on with me and why no one has been able to get ahold of me.
This month has been one of the worst in my entire life.
So, the biggest thing:
When I was in high school, two of my best friends in the entire world were this pair of sisters. Tina, the older one, was in my grade and her sister Lisa was a year behind us. I moved out of that town about 10 years ago, but we still remained pretty close. Which is why I was surprised that no one had called or emailed me when Lisa died two weeks ago. My step-dad is from that town and he still gets the local paper and he just happened to come across Lisa's obit. I've been trying like mad to get ahold of Tina, but I can't. I have no idea how Lisa died or where Tina is right now.
I feel so horrible and guilty I just don't know what to do with myself. Lisa was a very troubled girl. She had lupus, she had an on-again-off-again heroin habit, she's tried to kill herself on several occasions, and she had a history of relationships with violent men. It could have been anything. I feel like I should have done something, helped her in some way. Even though nothing I've done in the last 13 years has made a lick of difference, I can't help feeling like there's something I could have done this time maybe.
She was 26 and she had a 9 year old daughter.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Also in the last month or so:
-- Baby the Happiest Cat in the World is dead. About four years ago I came home after my junior year of undergrad and my mom got this bottle baby kitten from the local rescue organization. She was a week old and my mom and I raised her. About a year ago, Baby decided that she didn't like using a litter box and she wasn't going to do it anymore, so just like that she became a barn kitty. And she was so fucking happy! Until a few weeks ago when she was eaten by coyotes. I really, really fucking hate it here.
-- My rheumatologist says she has no idea what the fuck is wrong with me. So about $1000 later, all I know about my disability is that it probably isn't tendinitis, arthristis, or lupus. Now it's on to either a neurologist or an immunologist for a whole new round of testing.
-- The new pain killer she perscribed doesn't fuck me up like the old one, but it also doesn't work very well either so my pain levels are spiking again. Also I think I'm building up a tolerance to the anti-inflamatories. I'm just about back to square one!
-- My step-dad was using my car to drive to work since it's much better on gas milage than his ridiculous POS. He wrecked it on Wednesday. He wasn't paying attention and plowed into a herd of deer on the road. The front end is trashed. We have no money to fix or replace this car, so I am completely and utterly fucked. And also, since he's taking his truck to work now, I am literally stranded in the middle of nowhere for most of the week. But that's okay. It's not like I know anyone here or have anywhere to go.
-- In fact, I've left the house so rarely this past year, I now have dangerously low vitamin D levels. On the plus side, I've reduced my chances of sun-caused skin cancer dramatically.
-- My grandmother has severe dementia and has to live with us. It's hard and it sucks, even beyond the whole "I hate living with other human beings" issue I have. But, she's a part of the government's Home Healthcare Program, so we get about $1800 a month to take care of her. It's actually kind of insulting, how little money that is for how much work we do, but it's better than nothing. So my mom has decided to take in more people to try to make ends meet. I already can't stand living with the three people who are here, and now we're bringing strangers into the mix? Fabulous. I just hope the new people don't take off their pants and walk around pissing and shitting like my grandmother does.
-- I've been unemployed for almost 11 months now and all the money I have in the world is a few hundred dollars left over from my tax return in April. And yet, my able-bodied employed (for the moment) brother needed it to pay...whatever he needed money for this time. He does this all the time. Calls my mom up with some sob story about how, due to forces completely beyond his control (naturally) he needs several hundred dollars to pay his cell phone bill/buy a piece of equipment for work/pay for medical bills. This time, it was to keep from getting evicted. It's bullshit. It's always bullshit. My mom knows this, but the nagging "What if?" at the back of her mind won't let her mama bear instincts rest, so she always sends him money. This time, she didn't have it to send, so she guilt tripped me for days until I sent him the money. Who knows if I'll ever see it again.
-- And since I sent him the money, I didn't have it on me to send to the doctor when my bill came due this month. My parents promised to pay for all my medical stuff, but my mom decided that getting her horse's teeth floated and one impacted tooth pulled was more important than paying the doctor bill this month. So that credit I've managed to keep utterly spotless for 27 years? Not so much anymore. -- My step-dad is on the verge of losing his job because the economy is in the toilet. No one is building houses or spending money to renovate, so no one needs large quantities of lumber. Therefore, the sawmill where he works might shut down. EVERYONE VOTE DEMOCRATE OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS UNTIL YOUR HEAD FALLS OFF.
At this point, I'm just like...what next? What is coming next? How is life going to shit on me tomorrow?
Seriously, I'm in a bad place. For the last two weeks, I haven't really gotten out of bed. I pretty much just lay there and watch Prison Break all day. Yes, Prison Break. Don't judge. It's incredibly addicting. And Michael Scofield is my new TV boyfriend. Maybe he and his planet-sized brain could break me out of my own personal prison.
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| Every Black Cloud Has A Smokey Gray Lining |
[28 Aug 2008|01:09am] |
There's nothing I like about being a cripple. However, every now and then there's something that makes it suck a little bit less. For example, sometimes people buy me shit out of pity. And I am not above taking advantage of that fact from time to time.
I cannot mix or whisk or chop or slice or do any number of things necessary to cook for myself, so I've been looking for a mixer and a food processor. Just last week, I came across a brand new Kitchen Aid stand mixer (this model) on craigslist for $100. So I immediately showed it to my mom, who immediately bought it for me. You cannot beat that price for a never used freaking KA (it was a birthday gift the guy really didn't need). I, however, needed it. And the guy was completely awesome about putting it in the mail for me at no extra charge!
Anyway, the reason I mention this is that it came today and I made chocolate cheesecake. FUCKING AWESOME.
On a completely unrelated note, does anyone on my flist play Kingdom of Loathing? If not, you should. It's effing hilarious. I can't play it as often as I like, obviously, but I'm going to Ascend sooner or later, so there's some stuff I could give away before I do, if you want it.
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| We haz a nap! |
[14 Aug 2008|11:42pm] |
Yesterday I had the most horrifying migraine I've had in a long time. In fact, I don't think I've had one this bad since fall quarter of my second year of grad school when I had to let my class go early because I couldn't complete a sentence and was going to throw up and die right there in front of everyone if I didn't get away from the light and the noise ASAP. One of my students (bless her) stood up in class and comanded the others not to bother me during my office hours, which were right after that class, so I could lay down and hopefully feel a bit better before my other class (one where I was the student) later that afternoon. I never, ever sleep in public, but I had to that day in my office because the migraine was just that shockingly bad.
And it happened again yesterday. I literally spent the entire day laying on my bed with a hoodie over my face (to protect me from the Evil Light Rays of Death) trying not to move lest I shatter into a thousand pieces. My mother checked on me periodically to make sure I didn't slip into a coma or anything and she captured this image of Evey trying to heal me with her love:
The more time she spends draped about my person, the happier she is anyway, but yesterday she was extra special sweet. And she didn't chatter away at me like usual, so thankfully I didn't have to kill her.
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| Drugs are bad, mmkay? You shouldn't do drugs. Mmkay? |
[05 Aug 2008|02:27am] |
Even if they're prescribed to you. Dammit, I hate my 'scrip pain killers. Even though they're non-narcotic, I'm really nervous about taking any kind of meds like that. Dudes, I don't even drink caffeine. And they knock me out cold for hours on end, so I end up sleeping even more than I normally do and my sleep schedule is even more jacked up than what passes for normal. Plus, when I am awake, I end up just babbling constantly. I had this completely random running commentary, it was weird. And the kicker is, the pills don't even work all that well for the pain, unless I take two at once, which sucks extra hard.
Lame.
I saw on the Deutschewelle news broadcast that some dude in Germany had two entire arms transplanted onto him after an accident at work amputated his. Maybe I should look into that.
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| Fuck You, Fandom |
[01 Aug 2008|10:36pm] |
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Jeez, I don't know what everyone was pissing and whining about. The Doctor Who finale was awesome! What happened to Donna was horrifying and heartbreaking, but that doesn't make it bad storytelling. I loved Donna and was impressed as hell with Catherine Tate as a dramatic actress (and I also like her as a comedian, so fuck you twice, Fandom). I'm going to miss her, but she had an ending no one will soon forget, and that's all you can really ask. Rose gets a (mostly) happy ending with the one Doctor, while we get more angst with the other Doctor next season, so that's a win-win. Martha managed to stay out from under foot and go away quietly. Jack, Sarah Jane, Jackie, and even Mickey were awesome as well.
The only thing I was dissatisfied with was the lack of closure for Rose and Captain Jack. They've both met up with the Doctor again and are finally more or less at peace with what's happened. But they lost each other, too, and that never really got addressed.
So in conclusion: Suck it, fandom. Your inability to enjoy anything ever is not going to harsh my squee.
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| Nerdgasm Afterglow |
[25 Jul 2008|11:54pm] |
I just got done watching Part 1 of the Doctor Who season finale and I cannot even process the sheer awesomeness of what I just witnessed. It is beyond compare! The wait for next week might actually physically kill me.
Davros and his Daleks return and steal the Earth! The Doctor is reunited with Captain Jack and Rose AT LAST! *busts out OT3 icon* And his current fantastic filthy assistant Companion Donna and old skool fantastic Companion Sarah Jane are both there too! And they're all going to team up!!!! And Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North, British Prime Minister, Big Damn Hero goes out in a blaze of glory to save us all!! And Jack is adorable with Gwen and Ianto before he runs off to the Doctor and poor dead Owen and Toshiko get a shout out and everything! Oh yeah, and whiny useless Martha is there too, but the rest of it is so awesome I don't even notice.
You know, last season really sucked. I missed Rose, the Doctor missed Rose, and Ten needs a good Companion to make him really likable, and Martha just wasn't getting the job done. She couldn't take time out of moping about how the Doctor didn't want to have makeouts with her useless self to enjoy flying around time and space. Plus, the stories just were not that great. But this season, with the awesome Donna as the new Companion and the writing reinvigorated, I am damn sad about the looming (extended!) hiatus.
*sigh* Is it next Friday yet?
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| Joss Whedon, how are you so awesome? |
[19 Jul 2008|04:28pm] |
Go to Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog right now. Do it this second. Drop everything and go.
The episodes are only up for free until tomorrow, although they'll be available for download on iTunes after that. Anyway, it's Joss Whedon's superhero musical (something there are far too few of, if you ask me) starring Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible and Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer.
I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me. Also, I want to have sloppy makeouts with Neil Patrick Harris now. Never thought I'd type that sentence, but there you go. It is that awesome.
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| Stargate Pet Peeves and a Totally Unrelated Book Meme |
[13 Jun 2008|11:42am] |
1. SGA
So, ever since I noticed John Sheppard's bed is too short for him, it's been driving me nuts. See? There's no way he's been sleeping on that for going on five years now. Also problematic: no room for Teyla. Do you know how sad it makes me that I can no longer completely enjoy scenes in John's bedroom? Very sad!
2. Books!
I was tagged with the book meme by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tielan
1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open it on page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Copy the next three sentences into your blog.
5. Tag five [or more :D] people.
There are two books sitting right on top of each other, so I'll do them both. The first book is Dave Barry's Greatest Hits by (...wait for it...) Dave Barry:
"A. The easiest way is to simply steal into his bedroom in the dead of night and stand over his sleeping form until he senses your presence and wakes up, then express your views clearly.
Q. Fine.
A. Be sure to use sweeping arm gestures."
The second book is Foxfire: Confessions of a Girl Gang by Joyce Carol Oates:
"By the time the kidnapped turquoise-and-chrome car overturns--turns and turns and turns!--in a snow-drifted field north of Tydeman's Corners Legs Sadovsky will have driven eleven miles from Eddy's Smoke Shop on Fairfax Avenue, six wild miles with the Highway Patrol cop in pursuit bearing up swiftly when the highway is clear and the girls are hysterical with excitement squealing and clutching one another thrown from side to side as Legs grimaces sighting the bridge ahead, it's one of those old-fashioned nightmare bridges with a steep narrow ramp, narrow floor made of planks but there's not time for hesitation Legs isn't going to use the brakes, she's shrewd, reasoning too that the cop will have to slow down, the fuker'll be cautious thus she'll have several seconds advantage won't she?--several seconds can make quite a difference in a contest like this so the Buick's rushing up the ramp, onto the bridge, the front wheels strike and spin and seem at first to be lifing in decorous surprise Oh! oh but astonighingly the car holds, it's a heavy machine of power that seems almost intelligent until flying off the bridge hitting a patch of slick part-melted ice the car swerves, now the rear wheels appear to be lifting, there's a moment when all effort ceases, all gravity ceases, the Buick a vessel of screams as it lifts, floats, it's being flung into space how weightless! Maddy's eyes are open now, she'll remember all her life this Now, now how without consequence! as the car hits earth again, yet rebounds as if still weightless, turning, spinning, a machine bearing flesh, bones, girls' breaths plunging and sliding and rolling and skittering like a giant hard-shelled insect on its back, now righting itself again, now again on its back, cruncing hard, snow shooting through the broken windows and the roof collapsing inward as if crushed by a giant hand upside-down and the motor still gunning as if frantic to escape, they're buried ina cocoon of bluish white and there's a sound of whimpering, panting, sobbing, a dog's puppyish yipping and a strong smell of urine and Legs is crying breathlessly half in anger half in exultation, caught there behind the wheel unable to turn, to look around, to see, "Nobody's dead--right?"
Nobody's dead."
Yes, that's only three sentences! I tag...um...everyone else on my flist. There are five of you, right?
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| Baby Steps |
[01 Jun 2008|12:48pm] |
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So on this week's BSG, Starbuck seems to have resumed bathing and she was lucid for the entire episode. So that's something, at least.
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| Battlestar Galactica Hurts Me Physically |
[17 May 2008|10:34am] |
(And so did typing this post! Took me two weeks to finish!)
So, this season of BSG has been a bitter disappointment to me, for the most part. Here's why:
Who are these crazy ass people?
So apparently, between seasons everyone went insane. And not the heartbreakingly believable “Hi-I’m-John-Crichton-and-I-danced-on-a-table-with-a-nuclear-bomb-strapped-to-my-chest-at-a-(fake)-peace-conference-because-I-have-a-MASSIVE-frelling-case-of-PTSD” kind of way. No, this is in a sudden and completely random “Hi-I’m-a-writer-and-I’m-out-of-ideas-so-I’ll-just-make-everyone-start-hallucinating” kind of way. They already had some really great PTSD stories going with everyone surviving first the attacks, then New Caprica, not to mention the constant threat of attack and whatnot. These stories had nothing to do with hallucinations and completely random, not to mention suspicious, behavior.
Then suddenly, everyone is hallucinating! Out of nowhere. I don’t even recognize these characters anymore. Chief, Tigh, Tory, Cally, Starbuck, even Anders, Apollo and Roslin. Nearly unrecognizable. The “Kara Thrace” portion of “Kara Thrace And Her Special Destiny” has completely dropped out. Now she’s just a cipher through which the writers funnel their random pseudo-religious bullshit. I miss her so frakking much. Where’s my cocky little flygirl? And don’t even get me started on how poor Anders is faring thanks to this little change (not that things were sunshine and roses for him before, but at least she acknowledged he was alive). And Cally is suddenly a (hallucinating, of course) depressive and drug addict? What? And how is it that no one seems to notice that everyone is suddenly frakking nuts? How come no one is lobbing Cylon accusations at those acting so strangely?
Anyway, back to The Crazy. Tom Zarek is the sanest person in the fleet. He’s still got his sights trained on the down-to-earth (so to speak) goal of political power. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard, though, since he doesn’t seem to realize that it’s not about political machinations anymore. It’s about whose hallucination gives the most popular advice.
From the Kara Thrace Memorial List of Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do Aboard Galactica:
#45 - I have not accepted Gaius Baltar as my personal savior.
#45a - Neither has anyone else
My deep distaste for the way the portrayal of religion has turned out this season is two fold, the first part having to do with the internal logic of the show and the second part having to do with my own personal feelings.
Part One:
The complete lack of people behaving believably is especially evident in relation to religion. Okay, so Gaius Baltar is one of the most loathsome characters in TV history. Which is just fine. Awesome, in fact. A good bad guy is hard to find. And he is a bad guy. He’s smarmy, womanizing, egotistical, a compulsive liar, manipulative, refuses to take responsibility for letting Caprica Six destroy the Colonial defenses, and actively worked on several occasions to undermine the fleet (most notably giving a nuclear weapon to poor crazy Gina resulting in the murders of thousands aboard Cloud Nine). He was loathed throughout the fleet (and that’s with the fleet only having info about the less objectionable elements of his character and behavior). At the end of last season, the entire fleet was baying for his blood. I could buy a handful of people forming a strange little cult around him, after all crazy people do crazy things, and as we just established The Crazy is strong here.
But people are converting left and right! In droves! Even after the Sacred Scrolls have been proven correct through all of the sign posts to Earth and such. And Baltar’s preaching what those in the fleet know to be the Cylon religion, and not only is he not dead, but they’re converting! WTF?!?! People are converting to the religion of those that are even still trying to kill them all, a religion preached to them by the most loathed man in the fleet. Baltar has made absolutely no attempt to redeem himself or even change his behavior even a little, but now he’s a holy man? Even though he’s now declared himself “perfect,” no one else should be fooled. Dude, that motherfrakker is so crazy, he sees other people’s hallucinations!!! He’s so crazy, even other people in the crazy ass fleet notice how odd he is! And he’s everyone’s new Personal Jesus? That makes no kind of sense!
The most WTF-inducing thing of all, is my (soon to be “formerly,” if she keeps this up) beloved President Roslin, the Prophet herself. Tory joined the Manson Family, yet Roslin has yet to show her the business end of an airlock. Puzzling. But most puzzling of all is that she had one conversation with a lady and listened to a pirate broadcast, and now she’s giving credence to Baltar’s insanity and actually questioning her faith? < kyle’s mom="Mom">What What WHAT?!</km> She’s loathed Baltar since the first season. If anything, she should be even less likely to give credence to a word he says, just because it’s Baltar saying it, if for no other reason. I just don’t understand.
Part Two:
Aside from being puzzling, this mass conversion to monotheism is incredibly insulting on a personal level.
One of the things I loved about previous seasons is that we (as in, we polytheists) finally get to be the good guys! We’re real people, in modern day-ish situations, whose beliefs (in the context of the show) are treated as real. Totally awesome! But no. Monotheism won’t even let us have even one show. Frak, we couldn’t even have Xena, for Ares’ sake. Monotheism even started encroaching on Rome, and I’d be willing to bet anything that if it hadn’t been cancelled, Pullo and Vorenus would have ended up in Judea in Season 3.
What’s most insulting about it is how people are converting. Sure, after something like the attacks, it makes sense that people would question their faith. But (as we have seen in situations like the aftermath of 9-11) way, way more people would actually turn to their faith for comfort. Yet here, all we see are lots and lots of people questioning their faith and converting at one word out of Baltar’s mouth. The only ones who are so strongly clinging to their faith are the Sons of Ares, a violent criminal group. Lovely.
And then there are people like Roslin and that one other lady with cancer. They’re facing death, and all of a sudden are looking around for anything else besides what they’ve believed all their lives. It’s nauseating.
What is so insulting about all of this isn’t just that it’s dumb in the context of the show. It’s that there’s such a strong history of this kind of bullshit in Christian proselytizing efforts. “Oh, if the heathens would only need to be told of the truth, and they’ll immediately recognize that we are right and that they’ve been wrong all these millenia, the poor stupid things.” “Oh, they may pretend to believe, but when they’re actually facing their own deaths, they can’t hide from the truth anymore and the fear will set them right.” I cannot tell you how many times people have assumed that just because I’m Pagan, I’ve never heard of Jesus (I’m American! It’s not possible!). And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me if I can still “claim to” believe in my Gods on my death bed when I’m facing eternity.
Sound familiar?
Why, yes, fuck you very much. I have heard all about Jesus. And all about many, many other monotheistic religions. Not interested. And at my death, provided there is time, I will say a prayer to Hades and Persephone and be on my way. It’s insulting to see this bullshit played out on a show that had previously been so groundbreaking in its refusal to adhere to such old clichés.
Although I will admit that the bit about the minority group of Mithras followers amused me to no end, although technically most of those individuals should be the military personnel aboard Galactica.*
And don't even get me started on all those in the fandom who are actually saying that if Baltar really is a prophet for the One God, then both he and the Cylons and their attack on the colonies actually must be holy and correct. Just because they follow one god and not many, I guess.
Cylon Woobification
The Cylons are great bad guys. But the increasing woobification of them is nauseating. The Six last week getting on her high horse about “human justice” and vengeance and pretending that anything the colonials could do is anywhere near on par with what the Cylons have done and continue to do is stupid and gross. If you want to redeem some characters, make them feel bad about what they’ve done and try to change. Don’t start them moralizing about the supposed short comings of their opponents. You lost your right to angst about the trauma of being killed and downloaded when you (permanently!) killed billions of people and hounded and virtually enslaved the survivors.
*sigh* Is this show done yet?
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* = I think this is due to it reminding me of one of my favorite passages in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods where Mad Sweeny and Shadow are discussing Jesus:
“Shit. That was one lucky son of a virgin.”
“Jesus?”
“Lucky, lucky guy. He could fall in a cesspit and come up smelling like roses. Hell, it’s not even his birthday, you know that? He took it from Mithras. You run into Mithras yet? Red cap. Nice kid.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Well…I’ve never seen Mithras around here. He was an army brat. Maybe he’s back in the Middle East, taking it easy, but I expect he’s probably gone by now. It happens. One day every soldier in the empire has to shower in the blood of your sacrificial bull. The next they don’t even remember your birthday.”
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| Someone please just kill me |
[26 Apr 2008|11:29am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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So it's been months since I've been back here, doing nothing and trying to let my arms heal. I pretty much never use the computer any more. The most strenuous thing I do is shower in the morning. And yet, I am no better than I was when I left. Why? Because it's not tendinitis anymore. I flat out tore my tendons. This means I will most likely be disabled and in pain for the rest of my life.
FUCKING AWESOME.
I'm still trying to go back to college for languages, since at least I can still talk, but I can't do that unless I get federal disability, since I can't work and I need student services. Such a fucking ass-ache.
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| THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! |
[13 Mar 2008|11:15am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
Some of you may remember Arcenia's presentation in class one time about bellydancing. I thought it was really interesting, so we started talking more about it and I became hooked. The Bellydance Superstars are the only full-time touring bellydance troupe, and while there is a bit of mixed feelings over them in the bellydance community, they're still incredible dancers who put on one hell of a show.
AND I GOT TO SEE THEM LAST NIGHT! It was in a relatively small venue (~800 people) and I was in the front row. They were, like, 3 feet away from me and I could see all of the details on their costumes and I could feel the vibrations from their feet when they started to shimmy really energetically. It was spectacular! I haven't had that much fun in ages (that's why I'm typing so much right now, even though my arms hurt like hell from all the clapping and being on the computer is an agony).
Since all my friends live in other time zones, when I found out the BDSS were coming to Spokane, I showed my mom a few dances from some of the DVDs I have and asked her if she wanted to go. She said sure, more because she could get out of the house and this looked like something fun for us to do together than because she was really enamored of the dancing I suspect. I was kind of worried, actually, since my mom is a total prude and I didn't know what kind of (mis)preconceptions she might have about the dance.
I shouldn't have worried. Half way through the opening number, she leaned over to me and said in an awed voice, "This is amazing!" And it totally was! The whole show she was totally into it, cheering and clapping.
The dancing was incredible. Everyone had so much energy, but they were still so graceful! I was so excited to actually get to see Jillina (my all time favorite dancer) in person. She's so elegant and she was so funny during her drum solo, too. Oh, and during said drum solo? She danced on top of a tablah for a while! All of the group numbers were great, also. Petite Jamilla and Sonia seem to have a bigger role on this tour than they used to. Which is good, since they're both good dancers and very charismatic. Jamilla did a new routine for that spinning double veil thing she does and I actually like it more than the first one! While she was spinning with those two veils, they had another dancer come out and start spinning right next to her and their veils were right on top of each other, but not getting tangled, then the other girl handed off her veils to Jamilla in mid-spin! And I like tribal fusion well enough, but it really isn't my favorite style. But last night? Every one of the tribal numbers blew me away! I particularly liked the Victorian wind-up doll one (it's hard to describe!) because it was just so fun, cute and original. Also, Sharon Kihara may just be the hottest woman I've ever seen in person. I think it's all the tattoos and the thigh-length dreads. Oh, and her awesome dancing!
Those two hours just flew by! I couldn't believe it! My mom and I couldn't stop talking about it all the way home and our faces hurt from grinning like idiots the whole two hours. I can't wait until their next tour so I can go see them again!
Although live shows are always so much more fun, I'm putting up some YouTube vids of their first big tour, just so everyone can kind of see what they're missing!
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| #1 in the hood, G |
[13 Feb 2008|06:29pm] |
So I spent today watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and baking. At the same time.
"Hell yeah, I'm a dirty white boy!"
And look! There's Vanessa, too!
I don't think I can eat him. It's just too cute.
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| Jeez, just break my heart, why don't ya? |
[11 Jan 2008|05:28pm] |
I just had one of those run ins with my Grandmother that happens fairly frequently, but never stops sucking. She came out of her room wanting to know which door she should go out of. When I asked her where she thought she needed to go, she said "I have to go meet my Mr.!" *cringe* Dammit. I had to explain to her that Grandpa has been dead for about 40 years and she doesn't have a husband. Her little face just fell and she looked so sad! *sigh*
You know, whenever she thinks she's got a husband, I really don't think she's actually thinking of Grandpa. He was a miserable, abusive jackass and nobody was sad when he died, least of all Grammy.
Still. Such a bummer.
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| Seriously. |
[10 Jan 2008|02:39am] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
I don't need sex. Life fucks me whenever it can.
P.S. - Please stop snowing. kthxbai
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| A long time ago, we used to be friends, but I haven't thought of you lately at all |
[31 Dec 2007|07:10pm] |
So I've gotten my mom completely and utterly addicted to Veronica Mars. I knew if I could just get her to watch the pilot episode, I'd have her hooked and I was right. Now we're having fun going through the first season together!
Today's Adventure in Crazy Town: My mom records various concerts and other musical specials for my grandmother on her PVR and goes through and plays them for her all day. My grandmother can't follow TV shows for longer than about 10 minutes and her eyesight isn't so good, so music is pretty much the only entertainment she has. Plus she really likes to sing, even if she doesn't know the song. Mom went in to put a new concert on this afternoon and Gram asked "Why are all the people talking at once?" Shit. If we lose music, we're hosed.
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| Adventures in Crazy Town |
[28 Dec 2007|10:43am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Post Blue" by Placebo |
] |
I'm thinking of making this a regular feature of my LJ. A lot of the shit my grandmother does is pretty amusing (if you don't have to live here), and dealing with this shit is pretty much all I do anyway. Well, that, Kingdom of Loathing and various message boards.
Anyway, this morning at about 6:30 we had our latest adventure, which was actually pretty scary. The way our house is set up, if you're looking at it from right-to-left, is Gram's room (the master bedroom with the attached bathroom), the living room, the kitchen and sun room, our bathroom, and the three smaller bedrooms and laundry room all grouped together. There is a gate between the living room and the kitchen that my parents lock at night, so Gram doesn't burn the house down by trying to cook or walk into our bedrooms every 20 minutes.
There is not, however, any lock on the front door in the living room. This morning, she went wandering outside in nothing but her pajamas, fell down, and couldn't get back in. It was about 20 degrees and snowing all night. She managed to crawl back to the door and bang on it. My step-dad thought she was banging on the gate between the kitchen and the living room (as she often does) and went out to tell her to quit. Thank goodness he did, because we usually ignore it when she does that, since it only makes her more crazy and she ends up doing it more often. If you just wait for her to go to bed, everything's usually fine. But thankfully, he was annoyed enough to get out of bed and ended up finding her outside. If he hadn't, Gram would have been dead by morning.
So now we have to start moving heavy furniture in front of the door at night. The home health care certifiers from the state won't allow us to put a lock on the door, since they say it is a fire hazard to do that. Instead, they recommend putting an alarm on the door that will go off if the door is opened. This is a brilliant idea, because what this house really needs is an alarm going off every 20-45 minutes all night long because Gram is looking for people who don't exist, putting "mail" (random things from her room wrapped up in something) out on the porch and letting the (non-housebroken) barn cats in and out all night.
Is it September yet?
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